29 Years and Counting

Just two weeks from now I'll turn 29. Ten years ago, every time I would day-dream of the future, I saw myself having my own car, smartly dressed and being mature. Now I realized I have not changed that much since college. I can't really believe it was just yesterday.

This morning, I heard some of my favorite songs then. Dishwalla songs. I found myself singing, "Tell me all your thoughts on God, coz I really want to see Him......" Now I hear these songs on Saturday mornings, over JAM 88.3. Their day dedicated to--classics of the nineties and early two-thousand. My brother would laugh a bit every time I say "Tumatanda na talaga ako."

They say that quarter life crisis comes "daw" around these ages. Late twenties to early thirties. When you get frustrated because what you dreamed of becoming when you where in college and as an early graduate did not happen. When you realize that life is complicated and all your problems, work load and responsibilities pile up in front of you and still you have days when your ATM balance is 0 and you only have 100 pesos in your coin purse to stretch through the entire week. When you plan to give yourself a gift for your own birthday--watch a musical, and you plan it weeks ahead to save a thousand or more for a ticket.

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I have accepted some facts of life. To be practical and think of financial stability first before realizing dreams. So I decided to leave my present work place and I got accepted in another one. Same profession. Same responsibilities. Then, life will do something to disturb my peace. Last Tuesday, friends called. One was my head writer and the other was a mentor six years ago and after a length of time, they still remember me and asked me if I still wanted to write. But of course! After seeing soap remakes on TV! I'm feeling challenged each time I hear that they're remaking some old soap operas.

So what did I tell them? I can't. I have just been accepted in a new workplace. The salary is much higher than my present one. And I can't afford to let that go.

Suddenly, what my I-Ching popsickle sticks counseled came true: Wait for March!I think I let an opportunity slip away.

Something that I know I really would like to do.

Something that had been a dream since high school.

At 29, life can really be complicated.