Light My Path Teresa.

I finished the book "Come Be My Light" last night. It is about the secret letters of Mother Teresa about her interior life. For almost half of her life, she did not feel the love of God though she gave her all to Him until the end.

I sobbed as I finished the last pages. Now I have another favorite saint along with St. Teresa of Avila and St. Francis of Assisi. And I seek her intercession as she promised: “If I ever become a Saint - I will surely be one of ‘darkness.’ I will continually be absent from Heaven – to light the light of those in darkness on earth.”

Pray for me, Mother, that I may follow the light even if I only feel darkness all around me.

Infatuated or Love?

This is not about romance so don't be fooled by the title.

In 2007, I fell in love with Francis. Giovanni Francesco Bernadone to be exact. The Poverello, The Little Poor Man from Assisi and his message of peace made me think of how I see life and my relationship with God. This was when I felt depressed and I was looking for meaning in the wrong places.

St. Francis embraced poverty. By doing this he acknowledged his nothingness without God. He propagated peace which I believe he got from the Benedictines and his own experience of useless war. He united himself with God's creation and saw Him in everything and everyone.

Faced with perceived responsibilities and preoccupations, I am now confused if I'm really in love with Franciscanism or is it just an infatuation with its symbols such as the Tau and San Damiano Crosses and the three-knotted rope fastened around a franciscan's waist.

But what about really living out poverty? What about living in chastity and obedience? Am I ready for it? Am I being called to a life with these virtues?

Story of A Friar

I now follow and enjoy this blog by a Franciscan Capuchin friar from the States and his name is Fr. Charles. He mentioned that he is a Catholic convert and he loves to sing. Actually, he really knows his music--from liturgical chants to punk rock songs. The latter is his favorite and he mentions in one post that his vocation song is actually a punk rock song by a band named The Mr. T. Experience.

I enjoy his blog because it's holiness is not "above the clouds" and actually, it can appeal to the youth.

Fr. Charles got me interested because I have a high regard to people who converted to Christianity. They cherish their faith as one would guard a well kept treasure. In contrast to some who were baptized from birth like me who regard their faith just like a relationship status in a social network site.

Sometimes I'm humbled by converts to Catholicism like Fr. Charles and Steve Ray, the Catholic apologist. They make me reflect on how I give importance to my faith.